Hosting Your Own Wedding

            It used to be that weddings were always hosted by the parents of the bride. With so many couples waiting to get married until they are older these days, though, that custom is no longer always the norm. This is what every bride and groom should know about hosting their own wedding.

            The first thing that is different when the bride and groom host their own wedding is the wording of their invitations. Rather than being issued by the bride's parents, the wedding invitation should be written in the passive tense, with no hosts being named. It should read like this: "The pleasure of your company/ is requested at the marriage of/ Elizabeth Paige Johnson/ to/ Mark Donald Spencer/ Saturday, the Third of June/ at one o'clock in the afternoon/ The Hartford Country Club.

            Another major difference between a wedding hosted by the couple instead of their parents is who has the control. The truth of the matter is that holding the pursestrings does tend to bring with it much of the decision making power. This, in fact, is one of the main reasons why a bride and groom might wish to host and pay for their own wedding, rather than accepting the interference (no matter how well-intended) that comes with having someone else pay your way.

            Just because you are not required to do things your mother's way, however, does not mean that she should be excluded from the wedding planning process. A wedding is an emotional and sentimental time for a mother and daughter no matter who is footing the bills, and this should not be overlooked. By all means, include your mother in the usual parts of the planning process, such as shopping for the wedding gown, choosing gifts of jewelry for the bridesmaids, visiting the florist, and so on. Elicit your mother's opinion, even though you know that you have the freedom to do things your own way.

            One great thing about hosting your own wedding is that it gives you the freedom to have exactly the kind of event that you want. The wedding will end up reflecting the personalities and interests of the bride and groom much more than those of their parents. This can be a wonderful thing, especially when the engaged couple is a bit older and has a strongly developed sense of their own taste and style. Bride and groom hosted weddings are likely to be more relaxed and modern than those planned by the parents of the bride.

            Speaking of the bride's parents, it has always been customary for the bride and groom to bestow some little token upon their parents to thank them for helping with their wedding. Even when the couple is paying all the bills, this is a tradition that should still be upheld. After all, when you give your mothers gifts of wedding jewelry, or send a bottle of top-notch Champagne to your parents' hotel suites, you are thanking them for much more than any financial contributions that they may have made to your wedding. The deepest gratitude should be directed at the emotional and moral support that the bride and groom have received from their families.

            Hosting your own wedding can be a liberating experience. Freed from the battles over control, and fights over budgetary disagreements, the wedding planning can become much more pleasurable for the bride and groom. Playing hosts of your wedding will allow you to design your dream wedding, down to the last detail.

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